Hi everyone!
I feel like because of time constraints and all I don't seem to find the time to take photos
Before that I use to always use weekends to do all these..but now that my weekends are practically occupied, I haven't been doing so...really need to start reorganizing my time again lol!
I haven't really talked a lot about myself here since the main reason why I started this blog was to share about my thoughts and experience on makeup/skin care products. But recently my friend shared this with me and I thought of sharing it here for anyone reading this who experienced the same thing I did.. (:
There was this period of time,which I believe was for about 3-5years that I literally felt like I was socially awkward. I couldn't find the courage to talk to people and even if I did, I didn't know how to continue the conversation. It got quite bad to the extent I would just sit in the lecture theatre alone for the entire lesson for almost every single lesson.
It all started when I first got betrayed/backstabbed by my friends. I have to admit I wasn't a very nice person to be begin with so I felt I kinda deserved it then. I was then being threatened and surrounded by gangsters who wanted to bash me up. People started gossiping about me behind my back and gave me weird stares like I was a creep.
And there was this group of friends(?), which I thought they would be the last people who will ever gossip or judge or do anything negative to anyone, that I met and that was kinda the only thing that kept me going thinking that actually things ain't as bad as it seems. But one day....yeap they did it too..
That was probably the breaking point for me. Ever since then.. All this social awkwardness happened. I just wanna stay at home and do nothing, thats when I discovered the beauty community on YouTube. I practically watch all the videos I can find subscribed and subscribed and slowly got the hang of putting on makeup.
After watching videos for months, I really wanted to try making videos too.. But I couldn't find the courage to.. For readers following me from the start, you have already know about my lack of courage for making video that's why I decided to hide behind the screen and started this blog instead..lol!
Because of makeup I had really bad breakouts, which made me felt even more inferior about myself.. But also because of the skill of makeup to make myself look better let me regain that tiny bit of confidence.. And I started to slowly talk to people again.. But I'll always have that feeling that I'll feel very out of place when I don't have my friends around with me..
That was before my last year in uni that I've decided to take a step out of my comfort zone to start this blog. It is actually something that I did hesitate for quite some time too.. I kept feeling that people will find me weird and awkward, tell me off and leave nasty comments on the blog. I'm not too sure I could handle it or not.. I don't know what but one day I just decided to start blogging.. And it actually wasn't that bad! I rmb when I first receive a comment I was so nervous I didn't know how I should reply . Lol! This is so embarrassing~~ and when I received my first email! I was thrilled!
I'm not gonna deny, this blog did made me more sociable and made me more confident to talk to people I don't know, even in real life... But there was this part of me who is very wary of what people thinks and what they say. We can all say I never really let go of that.. Maybe because I don't know how to let them not affect me... I rmb when I first received a nasty comment I was so devastated it actually affected me for quite a while. But them I thought again... That person don't even know me.. And probably will never even meet me in real life. Why should I be affected by him/her? So slowly I let it go.. Day by day throughout this year plus I manage to step out of my comfort zone bit by bit.
I was chatting with this friend of mine about this matter just over the weekend. And I admit, I just can't ignore what others say and think about me. All the negative stuff.. It still makes me wanna go back into that comfort zone of mine every now and then... And she shared this poem with me
Mother Theresa's Anyway Poem
I felt so touched and inspired by this poem. The logic is so simple yet the older we grow the more we complicate ourselves the more we care too much about what others think about us.
So to those people who are experiencing whet i've experienced, take this poem! Understand it. And you'll realise you've wasted your tears and feelings on stuff that doesn't matter at all!
Alright now this is getting awkward... I don't know how to end this... Lol!
Anyway... Thanks for reading!
Xx, meiyi
